Monday, March 5, 2012

Sneak Peek at the Blurb for Vallar Book 2.



I might be posting this too early, so I can't give a guarantee that this won't change. If anyone wants to give me some advice, all thoughts are appreciated.

A couple of titles I'm thinking about:

Visionary of Peace

Seer of Peace

Psychic Revenge

Psychic Warrior

My concern with the second one is that nobody will know what a seer is...I actually had people ask me "What is a seer?". Also, the titles with the word "peace" in them don't suggest  much conflict, even though there is going to be a ton of conflict. I like "Psychic Revenge", but I don't know how much revenge is going to be involved. Ian isn't really into revenge, however, some of the things that happen could be interrupted as revenge by certain other characters. Oddly enough, I tend to favor the last one (the more I look at it) even though Ian isn't a warrior type.


Possible Blurb:


Ian Connors had planned to use his visions to spy on Marscorp in order to maintain peace, but flashbacks and nightmares make it impossible. Since two years of peace have passed due to a stalemate, Ian decides to try and live a normal life, until one day he has a vision so horrifying he has no choice but to become the seer he once was or Vallar will have no future. While he struggles to regain his ability, the Marcs plot to capture him alive in order to complete a deal for their return to Earth.



Also (most likely) a new vehicle is going to be in the story. A Mars Jeep, which might will look something like this....


I know, I know...it looks like a toy. Just picture something more realistic


I'm at 47K words on the sequel, but it's a rough draft. However, I'm putting most of my spare time toward finishing it. Once I polish it up, then it will go onto my beta readers. Then edits, it's a long process.. Joy....


Excerpt from the end of chapter 1

But before you read, just a few things. Bret Yargar's character has evolved somewhat (this was planned) He was a spy in book 1, and he is still capable of that, but he has kept secret that he is also a scientist. His parents were scientists who were working on wormhole technology, but were killed in a Marc raid. Bret is following in their footsteps. He doesn't look like a scientist because he his a rather buff looking guy who wearing sleevless shirts, unless he is wearing his lab coat, of course. He works on this technology with his adoptive father Larus. Bret is about 42 years old while Ian is 18 years now.

-----------------------------

Bret stopped in front of the elevators. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but have you tried to have a vision lately? At all?”

I hesitated at his question. “No, I haven’t tried. Why? Is there something you need looked into?” Whatever if it was, I doubted I could handle it. 

“Have you ever seen anything in the past?” 

I scoffed. “No, not even when I was at my peak.” Yet, I was curious. “What do you need to know?”


“Some technology was lost during the Marc raid on Orissa. It was important for wormhole development so we can reach Hinun.”

About sixteen years ago, Orissa asked several countries and Earth organizations for help to get protection from the Marcs. Every country and organization ignored their pleas. Orissa had no military and was plundered – their base destroyed. Oddly, when I was trying to have visions, I’d often remember what was left of Orissa when I saw it from the bridge on Admiral’s Beacon’s flagship. 

“I’ve often tried to find a lost data chip that contained this technology. One of the biggest problems is that I only remember bits and pieces of the raid on Orissa. As far as I know, my father had the chip and most likely hid it somewhere.”

“So it could be anywhere in those ruins?”

“Yes, and for awhile I have thought of asking you to try and find it, but Sonny has told me some details about how trying to have visions causes you to have nightmares and flashbacks.”

I grimaced. “Yes, I tried and tried to spy on Marscorp, but nightmares and flashbacks got in the way. Although, sometimes I have a random vision about friends.”

“I hate to ask, but the truth is Larus and I have haven’t made any progress on developing this wormhole technology. Is there any possibility you could you try and find that chip?”

I hesitated. “It’s not that easy. Look, I escaped from Admiral Beacon, but he still managed to rob me of most of my psychic ability.” 

“But you said you have visions of your friends.”

“Only in random moments and never of the future. Trying to see inside Marscorp always brings on flashbacks. Sometimes I wake up and vomit. What am I supposed to do? I was on the verge of failing my classes. I had to stop trying. After the first year of peace, I became glad to be an average guy - at least as normal as possible for me. If I start trying to have visions, who knows what might happen.” With all my issues, I didn’t see how I could be of any help.  

Bret sighed. “Never mind then. I-I didn’t realize you had that much trouble and don’t want to cause you any harm. Larus and I will manage.”

I blinked. Where was the usual nag of a Bret? He never gave up that easy. Something about him saying to ‘never mind’ made me want to try. Not only that, but a small breakthrough could change our world. I had the chance to be the one who helped us reach Hinun. Yet, finding this lost data was going to be like finding a pebble in a dust filled crater. 

I grumbled. “Well, I-I, don’t want to give up too fast.” 

Bret stepped into the elevator on the left. “We can talk more on the trip. I’m already behind on packing.” He gave me a friendly salute with two fingers as the doors slid shut.




7 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

They don't know what a seer is? Anyone who reads speculative fiction should know that.

Grumpy Bulldog, March Madman said...

I'm terrible at titles but I liked the first one best.

Rusty Webb said...

Are these subtitles? You know, like...

Vallar: Prophet of Peace

Or are they just stand alone titles? As stand alone titles I think I like the very last one best. Psychic Warrior is short and it coveys action.

But Alex is right about Seers, if your market is people familiar with SF/Fantasy then I don't think you're going to have an issue. At the same time, you don't want to have new potential readers scared away because they don't understand your term.

Thanks for the excerpt. Looking forward to the release.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

Have you by any chance thought of using "Psychic Gambit"? I think that might be better than "Revenge".

E.J. Wesley said...

Sounds exciting, Cindy!

Susan Fields said...

I wouldn't hesitate to use the word seer. I think someone who would read this type of book would know what a seer is. I've been working on titles for my wip as well - it's a challenge!

Cindy said...

Alex and Susan, the ones who didn't know the word seer were in a critique group. And I agree, I won't hesitate..now.

Mike, interesting suggestion. I'm putting that one the list.

Rusty, yes you could consider a sub-title as Vallar will still be part of the title. I should have mentioned that.

Grumpy, that one was my first idea. Maybe I should with it.

EJ, thanks!